I Just Saw Halley’s Comet

I’m sitting in a truck stop in Kentucky tonight watching the sun go down and because I drive a truck for a living, and I have no house or apartment to go home to, my evening view changes each day. Though some feel the need to set down roots in one spot, I can’t stand still for very long. The road calls to me and my spirit dreams of open places few have tread. Yes my days are long and tiresome but my spirits are high and I believe by leaving my home state a month ago I have given myself a second chance at happiness.

The first 55 years of my life were filled with beauty and sadness, sorrow and glee. Many mistakes were made and lessons learned but I feel the person I am is a reflection of those moments. Many people say to themselves, “If I could just do it over I would change this or that”, but not me. I’m happy with myself and know in my heart I did the best I could given the strengths and weaknesses we as humans live with on a daily basis. We are far from perfect and no matter how hard we try we will fail at many things before we die.

I don’t remember seeing Hally’s Comet in 1986, in fact much of the 80’s is a blur. I was a heavy drug user at that time and so much of my youth was spent in the pursuit of something I couldn’t put my hands on, a whisper in my ear of the meaning of life beyond my reach. But now my mind is clear and my spirit is crying out for the image I could not grasp then, the beauty of freedom in the places where few go, deep in the wilds of America and beyond.

As I sit here alone with my thoughts I feel at ease with the past and hopeful about the future. A future with a camera in hand so I can capture what I see in my mind laid out upon the landscape, my dog by my side so I will feel no loneliness as she is my best friend. I will ask for no more than these simple things to help me stop running in place and be at peace.

I stayed in Maine till I felt my duty was fulfilled starting with burying my father in 2017 after his long decline from dementia. Watching him suffer the last few years of his life took a toll on me, but it was also a lesson I will never forget.

The lesson he imparted to me was never to forget what matters the most in this world, and it’s not something that can be bought. It’s not something you can learn or achieve, it simply comes forth from within. Personal responsibility, duty and kindness are the things I strive for and my father had all three. I hope he can see me writing this and is smiling. I miss you dad.

I buried my mom a few months ago after she died alone in a nursing home. I was not allowed in due to Covid but we spoke over the phone often. She maintained her hope and joy right through till the end, never letting go of her zeal for life and what it truly meant to be alive.

She believed in a better future brought about by God and the promise of a new beginning through his spirit. I hope she was right for she gave so much in that hope. She was the embodiment of will as she never gave up on her beliefs no matter how trying this world could be.

From her I learned the power of will and the beauty of self sacrifice. The strength of conviction, staring into the face of death with a smile. I will never forget our last conversation and the way she said goodbye. You will be with me always mom.

I go towards my future with my head held high. A struggle it may be but nothing good in life comes without pain, nothing is free from effort. This is my life and I will use all I have learned to be the best person I can be. I hope to make the best use of this gift called life and make my folks proud. But most of all I wish to be all I can be and die knowing I did my best.

My eyes are open wide
By the way
I made it through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way
I’m leaving out today

I just saw Halley’s comet
She waved
Said, “Why you always running in place?”
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother
Tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don’t cry one tear for me
I’m not afraid
Of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close
It’s only for today

I just saw Halley’s comet
She waved
Said, “Why you always running in place?”
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother
Tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Here’s my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother
Tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

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