Just Movin’ On

I’m sitting in Bangor Maine tonight after coming back to my home state to try and let go of some of the ghosts from my past. I was not completely successful but I feel I can live with the balance and offset it with a better life from here on. I believe the past sets the stage for the future if you learn from your mistakes, absorb the essence of failure and use it to steer your course towards a sunny shore. I have a good grip on the rudder now and hope to find my way through the fog of life.

Any time I doubt my dream is real, whether the goal is realistic, I think about just how long the underlying though has been there gnawing at me. The dream of living free with nothing but what I have with me began in my youth. I can remember sitting by the rocky shores of Maine dreaming of traveling away on a ship to the open sea. I was maybe 7 or 8 then but my wanderlust had it’s origins at that time. I would spend countless hours alone on the edge of the cliffs listening to the waves crash against the shore and imagine myself as young Jim Hawkins in the movie “Treasure Island” off on a grand adventure on a square rigged ship. I still remember the feeling as it were yesterday.

As I matured that feeling never left me though it morphed into a general feeling of wanting to be anywhere there were few humans, be it sea or land. The idea of self sufficiency and being in control of ones destiny as much as possible fills me with a sense of peace. That stubborn independence comes from my mother and the will to carry on in the face of adversity comes from my father. It’s a shame that only now do I see the lessons they taught me instead of in a time when I could have used them to further my cause sooner. Such is the human condition, at least it’s not entirely too late for me.

And so I carry on, head bowed and ever pushing forward, trying to give solidity to my dream. Each day I move one step closer while trying to shrug off the tremors of doubt caused by my deep seeded fear of failure, looking to the west with the eyes of a child seeking the adventure of a lifetime. Though life has many pitfalls and uneven stones to trip us up, my dream has been with me all my life and I will not give up or give in. I just keep movin’ on.

It’s been such a long time
I think I should be goin’, yeah
And time doesn’t wait for me, it keeps on rollin’
Sail on, on a distant highway
I’ve got to keep on chasin’ a dream
I’ve gotta be on my way
Wish there was something I could say

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ on
You’ll forget about me after I’ve been gone
And I take what I find, I don’t want no more
It’s just outside of your front door

It’s been such a long time. It’s been such a long time

Well I get so lonely when I am without you
But in my mind, deep in my mind
I can’t forget about you
Good times, and faces that remind me
I’m tryin’ to forget your name and leave it all behind me
You’re comin’ back to find me

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ on
You’ll forget about me after I’ve been gone
And I take what I find, I don’t want no more
It’s just outside of your front door

It’s been such a long time. It’s been such a long time

Yeah. It’s been such a long time, I think I should be goin’, yeah
And time doesn’t wait for me, it keeps on rollin’
There’s a long road, I’ve gotta stay in time with
I’ve got to keep on chasin’ that dream, though I may never find it
I’m always just behind it

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ along
Takin’ my time, just movin’ along
Takin’ my time, takin’ my time…

5 thoughts on “Just Movin’ On

  1. Those deep seeded fears of failure are with everyone and it takes a lifetime of discovering who we are and what we’re capable of to unshackle ourselves. Keep following your dreams my friend. One foot forward, we keep moving and before we know it we’re halfway there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wish I had some warning, would have been nice to toss a cookie to Brandy before leaving for NJ! Glad to hear that you are a bit freer. I still have a ways to go. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

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