Never Let You Go

I tend to be a rather emotional person and I’m not ashamed of that. Even though it can drag me to the depths of turmoil at times I feel the need to embrace all the ups and downs, and I realize we don’t grow if we don’t feel. We never move on from the past if we don’t give ourselves the chance. No one but yourself can give you permission to let go, you have to tell yourself you deserve another chance at happiness. You have to take a risk and give yourself completely to the moment. If you don’t you risk the chance before you that may be the last one you will see. There’s no way of knowing so I feel the risk is worth it.

Am I taking a risk falling in love with a woman half a world away? Am I crazy to think our souls were meant for each other even with the cultural differences and the language barriers we face? The misunderstandings and the arguments due to words having two meanings, the insecurity inherent in all human beings of losing the one we love. The complexity of love strains even the strongest of people but for those like me and Cecil it can be completely scary and uncertain to the point of fear. I have never felt this way before, full of anxiety and an overwhelming sense of incredible loss if I fail at this. I dig deep inside and promise myself that I will never let her go unless she says so. I will never give in to the fear I feel inside.

Are there other women in the world? Of coarse there are. Is there another that could be for me? I suppose so, but I don’t feel the need to look. I believe I have found the woman I have been looking for all my life. I believe we were meant to find each other after we had proven we were worthy of a better life. By living through all we have been through in our individual lives we each have grown to be the people we are now, not the ones we were in the past. Each of us has proven to ourselves that we can go through this life alone if we have to, but we also know in our hearts we don’t want to. We both have fears of rejection and the distance only heightens that fear.

We each speak of our past as a way to release the demons that plague us, a forceful gesture aimed at throwing away all that has held us back. Our stories are so similar as to be spooky, our wants revolve around one thing. We both want a simple life surrounded by all we hold dear and that’s family. We both have stories of family life growing up that are less than perfect, something everyone can relate to, but we refuse to let that taint our outlook on what family means to us. Again, our vision is so close to the same it’s uncanny.

I will never let her go even when I feel afraid. I will never let her go even when we argue or just disagree. I know in my heart she is the one for me because we always talk through any misunderstanding. We always end each day on a good note never letting something bad rule the day. We are learning to give the other a chance to explain their words so the confusion is resolved, we are learning that words can be hurtful or helpful if we don’t take the time to understand each other. Patience is the word of the day. Patience and understanding will bring us closer and closer together and that bond will last forever. This I truly believe.

There’s every good reason for letting you go
She’s sneaky and smoked out
And it’s starting to show
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you turn around, your back on each other
That’s a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around, your back on each other
You say that I changed
Well maybe I did
But even if I changed
What’s wrong with it?
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you turn around, your back on each other
That’s a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around, your back on each other
And now our friends are gone, are gone
And all the time moves on and on
And all I know is it’s wrong, it’s wrong
And all I know is it’s wrong, it’s wrong
If there’s a reason, it’s lost on me
Maybe we’ll be friends, I guess we’ll see
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you turn around, your back on each other
That’s a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around, let’s turn on each other
Good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around, your back on each other
That’s a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around, your back on each other
What a good idea
I remember the stupid things
The mood rings, the bracelets and the beads
Nickels and dimes, yours and mine
Did you cash in all your dreams
You don’t dream for me no, you don’t dream for me no
But I still feel you pulsing like sonar from the days in the waves
That girl is like a sunburn I would like to save
That girl is like a sunburn I would like to save
She’s like a sunburn, she’s like a sunburn

Never Let You Go – Third Eye Blind

2 thoughts on “Never Let You Go

  1. If you can pull off being a Dad to someone else’s kid, then you are better than me. I always had the fear of trying to do good, but having it undone if the donor decides he wants back in, then my whole life would be dictated by him. I watched my brother’s blended family in action. It’s not for me. Good luck, I hope it works.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s